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SCAPEGOATS can return to their flocks as wounded healers...


This fits in...stay with me...let's see where the tracks lead...and, please don't blame me...scapegoat me...if you get lost or don't like what you see, hear, read or feel...OR...I GET LOST...

As I did on first read, so will you find the Grateful Dead among the gems in this woman's soul-revealing tale...That is, unless: "You have two good eyes, but still can't see..." [see "Appendix" for more]

"After all, I'm just following the tracks..."

[see "Appendix" at the end...of this post...not the tracks]

Her full "report" (review) follows it's link. I recommend spending some time and letting her words...her life...enter ours...So she can tell me her story first hand, I ordered her book.

I share these connections with Brieanne: the healing and soul opening provided by Kundalini yoga, writing, Myers-Briggs (I'm an "ENFJ"), and, as the oldest of 7 children, I pushed my parents to their limits...and G-d carried them and me the rest of the way...

A friend I met on Twitter, a young woman named Brieanne Tanner, has had an interesting life.  It’s been a crazy and enlightening journey in every sense.

In her first book, PurgeAtory: You Can Purge Your Karma, she tells the story of Liv, a fictional woman whose life experiences are based on Brieanne’s own.  Liv’s memoir-like tale starts with a near-tragedy, the suicide attempt of her sullen and rather antisocial golden-child Kurt Cobain-lookalike brother, Reid.  Liv, an INFJ–introverted, dark, artistic, and introspective–is the scapegoat in her narcissistic family, ignored by her father and constantly berated by her mother who can’t or won’t appreciate her daughter’s unique qualities.

A turning point arrives at a party at which Liv is given a date-rape drug and the unthinkable happens.   Liv grows into adolescence hardened and cynical but still open to new experiences.  She’s Gen-X personified–embracing her generation’s ’90s incarnation of who-cares grungy, gothic edginess.  She worships the Cure, the Grateful Dead, and Nirvana, wears loose black clothing, and writes dark angsty poetry.

Later, she loses herself (and sometimes finds herself) in music and for awhile, psychedelic drugs–and meets a lot of odd, scary, and unforgettable people along the way.   She suffers great losses and seems to have lived the life of an 80 year old even though she is only in her early 30s.

Through a new mentor, Liv finally discovers yoga and begins to write, and finds both of these activities to be cathartic and healing.  She begins to contemplate her own karma and the meaning of everything that has previously happened.

I won’t say more about Liv’s story so as not to spoil anything–you just have to read it for yourself.   It’s one woman’s spiritual and emotional journey from an abusive childhood to wellness and wholeness.  It’s about fulfilling one’s destiny and moving on from the limitations of the past without forgetting their lessons.  It’s a story about narcissistic abuse that is so much more than that.

PurgeAtory is not long–just 83 pages and even includes a glossary.  It’s a mix of short essays, vignettes, poetry, drawings, and profound and sometimes funny ruminations about loving and living life to the fullest.

I recommend this book to all survivors of narcissistic abuse, and all survivors of just having lived life, which is itself a potentially traumatic experience.  You don’t have to be into yoga or Eastern religion or a member of Generation X to appreciate and learn from Brieanne’s message of hope and healing.



"I’ve always thought a hallmark of Hunter’s lyrics was that we can, through them, come to see the world from a point of view other than our own—whether we are taught to empathize with losers or criminals or con men or poets." [from the article]


"Strangers stopping strangers..." offering the hand of RECOVERY to various types of "losers"...

Want and need help? Click here and other link below...

Old man down (note 1)

Way down, down by the docks of the city (note 2)

Blind and dirty

Asked me for a dime, a dime for a cup of coffee

I got no dime, but I got some time to hear his story

INTERMISSION: Lemme enjoy these tasty connecting "DOTS"...

Earlier this morning (Tuesday) as I was in CT in the waiting area of my alternative medicine doctor Perry Perretz, I perused his book table and was led to explore...When much to my surprise...I find myself gazing at this scapegoating cartoon in the March 25th issue of The New Yorker...another sign that I'm following the right tracks, be they steel, concrete or dirt...


As in the two previous pots in this Passion Week series, I've included the complete Daily Meditation for today. As I did with yesterday's, I chose to start with Fr. Richard's seeds and see where they lead...FYI - On Palm Sunday, I began with Jerry and his "Palm Sunday" meditation and followed that lead..."SPIRIT, lead on..."

As I was highlighting his words below, I saw them as a contemplative version of the traditional way of seeing the "red letters" of Jesus in the newer testament.

Father Richard explains the Hebrew scapegoat ritual and how the pattern continues to play out in secular contexts today: 

In Leviticus 16 we see the brilliant ritualization of what we now call scapegoating, and we should indeed feel sorry for the demonized goat. On the Day of Atonement, a priest laid hands on an “escaping” goat, placing all the sins of the Israelites from the previous year onto the animal. Then the goat was taken out into the wilderness and left there. And the people went home rejoicing, just as European Christians did after burning a supposed heretic at the stake or white Americans did after the lynching of Black men. Whenever the “sinner” is excluded, our ego is delighted and feels relieved and safe—for a while at least. Usually, the illusion only deepens and becomes catatonic, conditioned, and repetitive—because of course, scapegoating did not really work to eliminate the evil in the first place. [1]  

As a Christian, I do believe that Jesus’ death was a historical breakthrough. It is no accident that Christians date history around his life. Afterward, we could never see things in the same way. The seeds of the gospel were forever planted into human history, but some followers of other religions seem to have “watered the seeds” more than many Christians. It seems to me the Christian West was so destabilized by the gospel that it had to go into “overdrive” to hide its shadow and cover its fear and its need to hate others. All this despite the teachings of its designated God! The central message of Jesus on love of enemies, forgiveness, and care for those at the bottom was supposed to make scapegoating virtually impossible and unthinkable.  

Many Christians, with utter irony, worshipped Jesus the Scapegoat on Sundays and, on the other six days of the week, made scapegoats of Jews, Muslims, other Christian denominations, heretics, sinners, pagans, the poor, and almost anybody who was not like themselves. One would have thought that Christians who “gazed upon the one they had pierced” (John 19:37) would have gotten the message about how wrong domination, power, and hatred can be. The system has been utterly wrong about their own chosen God figure, yet they continue to trust the system.  

Scapegoating depends upon a rather sophisticated, but easily learned, ability to compartmentalize, to separate, to divide the world into the pure and the impure.

Anthropologically, all religion begins with the creation of the “impure.” Very soon an entire moral system emerges, with taboos, punishments, fears, guilts, and even a priesthood to enforce it. It gives us a sense of order, control, and superiority, which is exactly what the ego wants and the small self demands.  

The religious genius of Jesus is that he utterly refuses all debt codes, purity codes, and the searching for sinners. He refuses to divide the world into the pure and the impure, much to the chagrin of almost everybody—then and now. [2] 


"They'll know we are ______________by the company we keep"

'Instead of defining ourselves by what we're against, let's define ourselves by what we're for.'

Who are our influencers?


"Heard it many times on WNEW FM with Jonathan Schwartz and Rosko. I’m sorry to see those days gone forever. The song presents a good image of today’s world; no leadership everyone just following the tracks to nowhere."

On how we see...OR, found this while looking for something else...

Hmm...PERHAPS, A Grateful Dead land-based version of those UK blokes and their Yellow Submarine...

“Trains, cats, and cards..” - Phil's summary of common GD topics...Listen in:

CAUTION: Before crossing the tracks to board...This is NOT Sodor and you are NOT boarding Thomas the Tank Engine....That said, C'mon aboard, strap yerself in and enjoy the ride...

And if your eyes are seeing double...better ask your Sugar Magnolia to check out who's the conductor and before you depart, ask him, "Where are you taking me...?"


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