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Montezuma’s Revenge: Man Bites Dog…Dog Bites Man…

Updated: Jul 7, 2020

Can hot dogs bring us together?

I offer some humor and deep wisdom to help balance the overwhelmingly contentious nature of our public debates - debates that are resulting because we are under the ILLUSION that we are fundamentally different from one another. Both science and religion agree that we are more alike than different, and under our divisive dogmas and doctrines, beats ONE HEART with many faces. ONE SOUL with a rainbow of representations.

BTW – This post is another example of what happens when I’m in the middle of writing some serious posts about unity…AND…life intervenes…and I put down my serious pen and pick up my feathered quill…hopefully tickling you into laughing, thereby taking yourself and the rest of our world a little less seriously…

Today’s Hijacking of my Serious Self…

Short version: Was out walking with Eileen and got bit/scratched by a dog and ended up in the ER. Details are below in Part 2.

Of Mogs and Men (sort of Steinbeck)

Part 1: Man Bites Dog and Barfs

(from this 1972 article) FRANKFURTER can be found just below Frankenstein in the dictionary. It can also be found immediately beneath contempt in Ralph Nader's vast lexicon of villains. To Nader, the ABM and the smart bomb are scarcely more lethal than a chain of processed sausages. Hot dogs, insists the consumer advocate, are "among America's deadliest missiles." New York City's Consumer Affairs Commissioner Bess Myerson agrees: "After I found out what was in hot dogs, I stopped eating them." This people's entrée, this frank companion of alfresco meals and ball games—can it really be a finger-shaped...[the free part of the article ended here]

Now for a lighter look on this debate

(from this July 2019 article) Hot dogs may not be powerful enough to erase national divisions; sometimes they just end up feeding our grudges, like everything else. But at a time when Americans find little to agree upon, there’s still something to be celebrated in the fact that, briefly, 150 million of us manage to share one delicious and terrible thing.


--e coli

Ay Chihuahua! Santa Mierda!

Audio’s rough but you’ll get the idea. Check out the bedpan guitar and the musician pulling toilet paper out of his pocket.

Reminds me of my first trip to Mexico in 1969. I was with my surfin’ buddies and we headed over the border to TJ (Tijuana) on our way to a “secret spot” in Baja. We stopped to eat our first Mexican food. On the table was a seemingly innocuous red sauce and tortilla chips. Hungry – we were twenty-something’s who surfed all day and partied all night – we were always hungry. I started scarfing up the chips and dip…and soon my mouth started to burn. That’s all I remember tasting that day…or the next two. But that didn’t discourage me, as my love for this south-of-the-border-experience continues to this day. When I’m really hungry, nothing satisfies like a packed bean burrito that I need two hands to lift to my waiting mouth. Ole!

“Ah Ha Baja”

I typed this because I remember a Three Stooges scene where Curley (?) utters these words. But what I found instead was this very personal story from a fellow wonderer/wanderer. I’ve walked in her shoes…and am still trying to follow the pathless path…

My Google search for “Ah ha Baja” also returned these images…

This first one reminds me of a post I wrote called “Aliens Among Us – Part 1.” Check it out and see if you agree that it could have belonged in that post. Slightly modifying the old NY Times byline “All the news that’s fit, we print,” I say,

“All the news that fits, we print.”

“Ah ha, Maja”

As I was reading this back to John tonight before we watched Marvel’s “Black Panther,” I remembered the Three Stooges reference. Simply turning the “B” to an “M” gave me the correct reference…no, not “BM” although that would go well with Montezuma’s Revenge.

What I correctly recalled were the words “Ah ha, Maha,” from a skit called “Three Little Pirates.” In this comedic farce, Curley plays the bogus Rajah of Canarsie. The transcript is in the "Three Little Pirates" link.

Part 2: Dog Bites Man

Today, I was out walking with Eileen and got bit/scratched by a dog.

Met a local guy walking 4 dogs. Stopped to play with them. Got bit/scratched. Called the guy’s vet. Took me 30 minutes to get through. Likely, many pet owners were calling to get their pets’ Prozac Rx’s refilled after the 4th of July explosions.

The vet’s representative told me the man’s dogs’ shots were all up-to-date and I didn’t have to worry about rabies. But she added, “If you wake up in the morning and are scratching behind your ears…” Seriously, she actually said that. For a related and VERY funny Carol Burnett skit, see “Second Helpings” at the end.

The urgent care place I once used was closed, so I went to the ER. Got a parking spot right down the block and was cared for by a wonderful team of folks. Compared to my last two ER trips this one was a breeze. For starters, I wasn't greeted by the crash cart and a multitude of probes weren't stuck up my... They patched me up and I left, thanking them all for being on the front lines…of Covid-19 and dog bites. Returning home, I proceeded to write this tail [sic].

Extra Helpings

--seeing the guys in their sombreros in the Montezuma’s Revenge band video instantly brought Steve, Chevy and Martin to mind.

--Thanks to Eileen for this add. She’s now a fellow collaborator.

A Tale of Two Nathans

“Son, what do you want to do – make a profit or be a prophet?”

Nathan Handwerker decided to make a profit – selling hot dogs. Nathan – the Old Testament prophet, opted for the other career path and spoke for G-d. As I read a Wikipedia article on him, I saw a comparison between King David’s life and that of Francis of Assisi. Both initially misunderstood their tasks:

· David thought he was to construct a building for the Lord, instead of allowing G-d to build a dynasty through David.

· Francis thought the same when G-d told him to rebuild His church and started renovating the old church at San Damiano. G-d actually wanted Francis to allow G-d to use him to bring a radically different interpretation of the Gospel that spoke of restorative instead of retributive justice. This is part of one of the serious posts I’m now working on.

So, hope you enjoyed some laughs. Remember, all of our differences are, as Buddy Guy sings, only skin deep. Let’s try to love one another.

American Humane Society Advisory

No animals (or humans) were harmed in the production of this post.


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